Alone Again

Things come and things go...

Change is undeniably hardworking...
It never fails to slither behind me and stab me unaware.

I feel incomplete, so alone-- more so than before. My father left me. He's the one I come to for protection. I feel ever so safe when he stands by me. Now, who am I to turn to?

Well, there is him. He is the only one I can run to. When I'm with him, I almost have the same feeling of assurance as when I was with my father. I sense the love I so desire most.

But....

He's changed as well. In this blog I write all the pains I go through, and because of him I feel less pain, but now.... It's like he's distancing himself from me... It's like I can't feel him anymore.

I've lost the sense of safety. Before I preferred only my own company. My fears were of being dependent on the presence of other people have been realized. What a fool I have become. All thanks to him. Now I look for someone to hold me. Someone to keep me together. I'm a mess.

No one listens to me-- as always-- and I become devastated. I try to control myself but the sense of being left out is too much. Too much...