Dreaded Existence

My problems were piling up.
I didn't know what to do anymore.
I felt like falling to pieces.

The day started out like any other. But the weather was a bit gloomy. Dark clouds high above. Rain started to fall as I entered the campus. What a sad day........NOT!:)

In fact, days like this makes me feel like everything will be alright. It's like after the rain, everything would be anewed.

The tingling beads of cold rain ran down my arms. It made me smile. I can't explain but nature had had this toll on me. The simplest thing can make me happy.

I was in a good mood when I entered the classroom. Though we would have our periodic exams on two of our most mind-straining subjects, the feeling of nervousness left me. The hours past by. I even felt out of place when I saw all of my classmates studying and me....well..., let's just say I got caught up on other matters.

The exams were through. I expected the afternoon to be nothing more than relaxation. The week has exhausted all my energy. Unfortunately for little old me, our school paper advisers took the liberty of calling for a meeting. I was doomed. I needed rest. Not practice. Just a few hours. Is that so much to ask. Exams, projects, reports, upcoming regional school press conference. Its all so frustrating.

My brain isn't functioning correctly.
There's no doubt about it. I live a dreaded existence.

Starring in a Horror Movie

Bbrrrriiiinnnnnggg!!!!!!!


My alarm clock just turned off.
Great... another day of misery... *sigh*... Why misery you ask? It's a long story but let me highlight a few factors that make it the horror movie that it is.

-There comes a time when I fell like I can never do anything right. My parents always say that I should do better in school. Keep my grades higher than anyone else's. Easy for them to say. They're not the ones trying to insert everything taught in school into a cranium already filled personal teenage problems.
They just don't understand what it's like. I'm doing the best I can. My knees are weak. My nights feel like oblivion where my very body disintegrates leaving nothing behind but carrying with it the pains and aches I feel.
Phrases like 'you should do the best', 'your best ain't good enough', 'your always below the standards of being #1' keep gnawing at my ears.

-Teachers. There's no surprise there. Teachers can not only be a student's second parent but also their worst nightmare. Quizzes, homework, projects, you name it, are thrown at you. Is there no end. They always check up on those running for honors. Doesn't it seem annoying(say you're writing an essay) when people look over your shoulder.

-Of course everyone else around you still counts. Aside from friends, what do you think processes in the minds of those who look at you in a different perspective. Who are you for them? You could either be someone nice or the devil's daughter/son. For an honor student people can doubt your intelligence. There are also times when people try to pull you down.

Critics every one of them....